This post is going to be a 2-part-er.
And this part starts with a little bit of explaining.
After being the only person my age I
know very well at all with a kid, two friends of mine are, more or less,
expecting. One of them, Jessica, lives in the same city I do and is pregnant
and expecting her first child in November. The other, Stephanie, is a good
friend from college who now lives just outside of Memphis, Tennessee, and is
actively working on adopting her first child.
Both of these ladies told me their news
at about the same time, and so of course I started making a list of things I
wanted to tell them that I’ve learned since having Liam. A couple only really
apply if you’re pregnant, and a couple only really apply if you live in this
area, but I thought I’d post my list here with some explanation, and give them
(and anyone else who may be reading) the opportunity to become acquainted with
some of the knowledge I gained as a mom.
I am so excited for both of these girls
and their families. Jessica is going through something I have already been
through (though, thankfully, she is having a MUCH less dramatic time with it
all than I did), and Stephanie is going through something I may jump into in a
few years when we are ready to give Liam a sibling (if you take a gander over
at the right-hand side of this here blog, you will find a link to Stephanie’s
blog, Blessed to Be, and learn a little about her journey to motherhood).
Anyway! Here is the list:
This is a store that
my mother and stepmother took me t when I was pregnant, though they have a
website so I suspect they can be found in places other than Cranston, RI. It’s
a great maternity clothing store; I managed to get a completely new wardrobe
for my pregnant self there for not too much money. Their website, obviously,
has more to offer than the store, though you can’t exactly try the clothes on
when shopping online. Secret: I still wear some of my maternity clothes now
that I’m no longer pregnant—they were just so cute!
Hope Returns
This is a store here
in Providence, RI. It’s a consignment store run by two local moms and I have to
tell you, I’m a little obsessed with it. They buy gently used clothes that are
good quality and interesting or seem one-of-a-kind, as well as furniture and
toys and I’m sure lots of other stuff. They also have things for sale from
local artists, like great wooden toys and prints to hang in a nursery. Their
prices are pretty great and they have new stuff all the time. If you have a
chance to check it out, do! Their website is on the right-hand side of this
page under “Stuff I Like.”
Mama Earth
Another local
one—this is the cloth diaper service Kurt and I used for a while. They use all
eco-friendly stuff and sell a lot of it online. We only used them for about a
year, just because of the prices (they’re not outrageous or anything, but we
were a little strapped for cash at the time, and it just didn’t make sense for
us to keep using the service). Even if you’re not in the area, go check out
their website—they have an online shop that has some great stuff in it, like
cloth diaper covers, ecofriendly cleaning products, and I’m sure lots of other
great stuff. Highly recommended!
This is something
Kurt discovered about a year ago. Go to Amazon.com and sign up! If you have
reoccurring orders like diapers or wipes, you can get discounts. And you will
have these types of reoccurring orders; I don’t care who you are. Check it out!
Swaddling
Ok, so this one is a little
more involved than the other things I’ve written about so far. I’m sure not
everyone will have a baby who is as crazily active as Liam is, and I suppose it
is possible that some babies are even less impossible than he was, but either
way, here is the advice I have to give: learn how to swaddle that kid! I will
never forget the morning I woke up, came out of my bedroom and found Kurt
holding a wailing Liam while frantically Googling “how to swaddle a baby” on his
iPad. He went out to Babies R Us and bought every product that promised to keep
a baby contained without the hope of escape, and Liam got out of every single
one. Then he found this video:
(ignore the part with the three year old)
This technique
seriously saved our lives. Liam still got to a point, now and then, when he
could get out of even the tightest arm-trapping swaddle, but mostly it meant we
could rock him to sleep without him wiggling out. I would advise purchasing
standard receiving blankets (to wrap around your baby’s arms), and then picking
up some Aden + Anais muslin swaddling blankets to wrap around them. It’s
seriously remarkable. I would also suggest getting at least 4 but 6 might be
better—you never know when your kid will spit up on, or pee through a swaddling
blanket, and having at least one extra one that’s clean and ready is always a
relief. You will never be annoyed at having too many of them, but you will
definitely be annoyed to have too few.
Burp cloths
You’re going to want
really thick, durable ones. The ones we liked best were actually cloth diapers
that we got as hand-me-downs from a family friend. The stronger they are, the
more they’ll actually keep your clothes clean, which is actually the whole
point. You will also probably want about a million, so as to cut down on
laundry—this will be a reoccurring theme in this post—and you’ll want to keep
them everywhere. In our little apartment, we always had one within arms reach
of the rocking chair, one on one of the couch arms, one somewhere in our room,
and at least one somewhere in Liam’s room, and probably about a hundred more
places I’m not remembering now. Again, you’ll never be annoyed at how many you
have (unless it’s how many small, thin ones you have that you never use), but
you will definitely be annoyed any time they’re all in the laundry.
Hand lotion by all sinks
This might seem
silly, but trust me on it: you are about to be washing your hands more
frequently than ever before in your life, and especially if you’re doing it in
the dryer winter months, your hands are going to get crazy dry. Get a few
little pump-bottles of lotion and keep one by your kitchen sink, and one by the
bathroom sink, and you will be super glad you did.
Audiobooks/Podcasts
Now, I realize your
situation is probably different than mine and that you will be physically able
to read when you have a new baby in the house, but first of all, you are not
going to have the time or energy to do that, and second of all, you are going
to have plenty of downtime while rocking your baby to sleep or walking him/her
all over your house or a million other things, and having something you can
listen to is such a sanity saver. I spent weeks rocking Liam to the tune of the
Harry Potter series, and now I spend time making dinner or folding laundry or
even just sitting in the same room as him watching childrens' shows, listening
to awesome podcasts. Sign up for a free 30-day trial of Audible.com, try out
listening to the New York Times, listen to a book you’ve been meaning to read
(my first audiobook was Tina Fey’s Bossypants,
read by her—it was awesome), or check out one of my favorite podcasts: Slate’s
Political Gabfest, Double X Podcast, The Gist, Mom and Dad Are Fighting, or
something unrelated to Slate (I’m currently obsessed, as I’m sure you can
tell), or Pat Monahan’s PatCast.
Sprout TV
I can’t speak for
anywhere else but here in Providence it’s channel 263. Listen, I am not super
into Liam watching a ton of television, and I am frankly nonplussed about how
much he actually does watch. But it is simply undeniable that most of us moms
have to turn to the goo d old boob tube to get a little respite now and then.
Sprout is all kids shows, all the time. It’s the same stuff as PBS kids, and
while it unfortunately has more commercials (as far as I can tell, anyway),
it’s relatively educational programming and it’s literally always on. It’s…kind
of a life saver.
Swing
I will never deny
that Liam’s baby swing was a complete lifesaver. For several months, it was the
only way to actually keep him asleep after getting him to fall into dreamland.
Our swing played music that would lull even me to sleep, and had a battery pack
so that if the electricity ever went off, the swing would keep going. It was
amazing.
All of that said,
however, I would like to note that I will also never deny that a swing is a
huge purchase, both in size and in price. If you can borrow one from somebody
whose kid isn’t currently using it, definitely do. You could also try any baby
consignment store (Hope Returns, for example, will take requests and will call
you if they get in something that you are looking for). Or register for one,
and hope that a few friends or family members will chip in on one together. We
were lucky enough to get one from Kurt’s brother Craig’s family, and it is
about to be lent to Jessica.
Pacifier
First of all, chances
are, your baby is going to like one specific kind of pacifier. If that’s not
the case, go ahead and disregard the next few sentences of this part and feel
superior because your kid is way more easygoing and adaptable than mine! But,
if your kid is like mine and will only use one kind of binky, do what we were
not smart enough to think of and buy
several. I have to tell you, there is nothing more frustrating than it
being naptime or bedtime and not being able to find one of the two pacifiers
that your baby will use.
The second part of
this piece of advice? The pacifier clip! I defy any new parent to be able to
keep track of their baby’s binky at all times. These lovely little devices wrap
one end around the handle on the pacifier (some sort of mold onto them), and on
the other end, have some sort of clip to attach the pacifier to your baby’s
clothing. We tried several iterations of the pacifier clip, and found those in
the image to your (LEFT/RIGHT) to be the best. I’d also get a few of these to
go with the several binkies you’ll have, unlike us who only have one clip to go
with Liam’s one pacifier. Be smarter than we are! That’s the main advice, here.
Back-up Lovey
It seems all kids
have an absolute favorite stuffed animal. You may have read earlier about
Liam’s Eggy. This piece of advice actually comes from one of Kurt’s former
co-workers, and I’m super thankful for it: once a favorite stuffed animal
emerges, get a back up. Yes, your kid
will probably get to a point where he/she can tell the difference,
Bottles
…Can be disinfected
in the dishwasher! Doesn’t that take a load off your mind? (Not a lot to say
about this—I knew it before Liam was born so it didn’t blow my mind or make
life noticeably easier or anything).
Get a bigger diaper bag than you think
you'll need
…But I would also
advise looking until you find the one you actually want to carry around. When I
was pregnant I found the one I loved and registered for it on Amazon, and then
registered for one I didn’t want at Target but added a note to let people know
where the one I really wanted was. Unfortunately, the friend who bought the
diaper bag didn’t read the note and for Liam’s first year and a half, we had a
diaper bag that wasn’t quite big enough, and also wasn’t terrible attractive.
Liam gave me the one I originally wanted for Christmas last year so I have the
one I love, now, but I will note here that it would have been way too small in
the beginning.
Here are a few more things you should
get:
Bottle drying rack
I really like the one
that’s in my fake registry at Target.com, but really anything designed to let a
baby bottle dry will be worth it. Even if you’re using the dishwasher to
disinfect the bottles, trust me, they won’t be all the way dry when you take
them out of the washer.
Boppy pillow
Google it. Get a
back-up cover. Trust. This thing will save your arms.
Silicone bib
Target doesn’t have
any of these I could find, but Amazon does. It will make your life SO much
easier. We definitely didn’t know such a thing existed in the beginning,
but Liam got one for his first Christmas. This thing is genius: easy to clean,
dishwasher safe, infinitely reusable, and complete with a little pocket at the
end of it to catch any major spills. Are you kidding me? We now have two.
Diaper pail
We don’t have one, we
never did, and I still regret it. That baby poop smell doesn’t go away. It just
becomes toddler poop smell. Anything you can do to curb that has to be smarter
than the alternative.
Wind up mobile
That is, as opposed
to battery powered. It’s just easier to have something that won’t need its
batteries replaced all the time. I’m pretty sure I’m right about this one
because we had both and we both prefer the wind up one. In fact, all three of
us do.
Crib bumper
I know these are a
little controversial, but I think they’re really smart. Especially if you’re
going to have a bassinette (or pack and play). I can’t even tell you how many
head bonks turned into giggle fits instead of tantrums. I guess it’s a personal
choice, but I say, go for it.
Crib mat
I don’t know if this
is what you call these things, I couldn’t even find a picture of one online
anywhere, but what I’m talking about is a small sheet you can lay over the
fitted sheet in a crib so that if (or when)
your little one pees through his or her diaper and pajamas in his or her sleep,
there’s a barrier between them and the fitted sheet, buying you a little extra
time to change the sheets.
Convertible EVERYTHING
By “convertible,” I
mean things that have removable parts or will somehow expand to allow for your
baby to grow, and therefore won’t need to be replaced with bigger things as
quickly. We have a convertible crib (it can be turned into a twin bed with the
right mattress), high chair (which had pieces in it to make it more comfortable
for a 3-month-old and that Liam can still use now at 2), pack and play
(converts from a bassinette to a crib), activity center (could be raised up as
he grew older), and even a convertible car seat/stroller. Speaking of which…
Car seat/stroller
This is a biggie, and
I won’t claim credit for it because Jessica was the one who informed me that
such a thing even exists, but here it is: get a stroller with a detachable car
seat. This means you will have a car seat in your car that you can remove and
clamp into your stroller if your baby is asleep or whatever when you get to
where you’re going. It also means that originally the stroller will be for an
infant, and will convert to a larger seat for a larger child. Ours had a car
seat that was also convertible such that Liam was able to use it until he was
about one and a half.
Bassinet/pack and play
I realize this was
kind of a throw away in that last bit, but the thing is, you don’t need a crib and a bassinet and a pack and play. Get yourself a pack and play that, like most (or
maybe even all nowadays) will adjust from a bassinette (which is to say, the
baby is sleeping on a mattress more at the level of your own bed) to a portable
crib (which is to say, the “mattress” your child is sleeping on can be lowered
easily to be a few inches off the floor, making it significantly more difficult
for them to escape when they’re old enough to attempt such things). Chances
are, you won’t use a bassinette for very long in the grand scheme and this way
it’s one less thing to have to store or get rid of when your baby is too big
for it.
High chair
One more note on the
high chair—I don’t know if you can even avoid this, now, but just in case,
you’re going to want one with a removable, dishwasher safe tray. It might also
be handy to know, prior to registering or buying one of these, whether it will actually
fit in your dishwasher. Ours, I am sad to say, does not.
Well, that’s it for this half of the
post! I hope it was at least a little helpful. I’m not exactly an expert about
this stuff (any more than any first time mom is about what goes into getting
through the first weeks, months, or year), but I know what worked for us, and
what I wish I’d known in the first place. Anyway, stay tuned for the second
half: The Registry. Coming soon…
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