Today, I am thankful.

When I was a freshman in high school, my best friend told me that I was the most negative person she had ever known. It wasn't meant to be an insult, she said it kind of offhandedly in response to what I’m sure was at the very least an extremely sarcastic comment from yours truly, but it completely knocked me over. I doubt she even remembers this conversation, but I thought about it every day for a really long time.

Wanting to make a change, to at least be the kind of person who wouldn’t be described in so many words (and maybe, someday, the kind of person who would be described as a positive individual), I started making a conscious effort to hold in negative observations and come up with positive ones instead. It was honestly pretty difficult for a while, but I kept at it, and by the time I got to college it was getting easier. I was making headway. These were the days of AOL instant messenger (AIM as the kids were calling it), and I am (hopefully) appropriately sheepish about this, but I spent a lot of time obsessing over my AIM profile. I filled it with quotes, song lyrics, inside jokes with friends and the like. I changed it frequently, but one thing that was there all through college, about halfway down, said, "Today, I am thankful..." I will admit here that I totally stole the idea from somebody and I can’t even quite remember whom, but either way I don’t want to take full credit for it.

Each day, I would think of something to list underneath. Sometimes it was silly (I specifically remember once writing "…that the Pepsi cola company once invented a non-alcoholic diet beverage that is then nectar of the gods" ...because I was a weirdo), but most of the time I really thought about what I was thankful for. I listed teachers who changed my world view, friends I cherished, or books that made me think. It got easier and easier. Some days I would spend time debating between two or more things to list. Some days someone would say or do something so great, I would think about it all day until midnight rolled around so I could list them instead of what had been there previously. I even had friends who, when they were listed (or a band they’d gotten me into, a book they’d told me to read, a movie we’d seen together), would IM me: “I made ‘today I am thankful’! I’m so excited!”

It was pretty cool.

I stopped doing "today I am thankful" after I graduated. It got hard to keep up with once I had actual responsibilities, and I wasn't really having to focus to be thankful anymore, I just was.

It took me almost 9 years to get there, to being a person who has been called optimistic or positive a large enough handful of times to feel like maybe I’ve made the change permanent.

The point. Right. The point of this rambling story is, I hadn't thought about my old AIM profile in a really long time, until one night towards the end of December when my good friend and former co-worker Randy Ross came to visit before the holidays, to spend some time together and also to tell me she would be retiring in a few weeks. Randy and her husband live in Northampton, MA, which means my opportunities to spend time with her will be even more limited going forward, which means I am a little sad about this development, even though I am extremely happy she is going to be able to spend more time at home, with her wonderful husband, in their wonderful home.

Randy and I were sitting on the couch that night, watching a slide show she’d put together from pictures taken on  her summer trip to Vietnam. I spent probably an hour listening to her tell stories about all of her adventures. She really has had a remarkable life, and hopefully someday will finally write her memoir so I can tell you all to read it. I won’t get into it here.

I sat on that couch, and I found myself thinking, "Today, I am thankful for Randy. Today, I am thankful for Randy. Today, I am thankful for Randy."

Anyway. That is the best way I can think of to tell you what her friendship has meant to me. I am so thankful to have her in my life. I am so thankful that we stayed in touch after I left the job where we worked together. I am so thankful to have had her at my wedding, and that my son has gotten to know her, and that I know we will continue to be in each others lives for a long time to come.

So, that’s what this little thing is on the side of my blog. I may not get to update it every day, but it’s a nice practice to start up again and I’d like to keep it going. And today, I am thankful for the fact that you, whoever you are, took the time to read this story <3