Oof.

Folks, I have a new challenge on the horizon

Going to the gym.

Let me clarify: going to the gym that is one block away from me, and doing it by myself.
We belong to the local YMCA, thanks to a generous Christmas gift last year from my grandparents. And we go a fair amount. Kurt sometimes goes after work with Liam so that he can exercise and study for the class he’s taking. I go to yoga most Sundays with my Mom. Sometimes Kurt and I go together. Sometimes my Mom and I go and sit on the recumbent bikes and chat about our relatives and daily lives. I’m not a “gym goer,” but I go enough.

The thing is, it’s really hard for me to walk anywhere by myself, because I don’t really have the confidence. I used to dream about the day that I was sure was coming last fall when I’d be able to see well enough to take Liam on a nice, long walk around our neighborhood without any other adult supervision, but that day never came. And here I am, a year later, and I’m still too nervous to try it alone.

“But Sarah,” you’re saying. “It’s only a block away. Surely you can do this, don’t be a wuss bunny!”

Well, true. The thing is, there’s a crosswalk I have to deal with, and it’s to cross a somewhat busy road. There’s a traffic light, and I can push the button to get it to tell me it’s safe to walk, but I can’t really see which cars are parked and which are driving. I can’t really see whose turn signal is on. And this is going to sound funny, but I don’t look like I’m blind, so people might just assume that I should be able to spot them with no problem. Looking both ways is even difficult, because it takes an extra few seconds for my eyes to focus on what I’m now looking at, and the time that takes could mean a car could appear on my other side and I wouldn’t even know it.

I realize this is all just a bunch of conjecture and I’m just freaking myself out over “what ifs.” But there it is.

I spoke to the people at the help desk at the East Side Y a few weeks ago and they assured me that I could call ahead and someone could meet me at the crosswalk and help me get to the Y safely. This is awesome. But…

So, it’s hard to set up our stroller. I know this sounds like a lame problem, but ask anyone who’s tried, it’s a tricky little bugger. And it’s heavy. It’s hard to deal with on your own. And it’s not like I can just put Liam down on the sidewalk while I figure it all out. He’s walking, now. He’ll run away, and he doesn’t know about traffic so it’s not unlikely that he might walk out in front of an oncoming car.

Plus, I can’t find my headphones.

Look, I know these are just a bunch of inane complaints, and I know I should stop being a baby and just try it out. Worst comes to worst, I have to call them back at the Y help desk and say, “Never mind, I’m going to try this another day.” I just don’t want to.

Basically, I need some encouragement, people. Can you help me out? Tell me I can do this. Tell me it’s not going to be that hard. Tell me nothing bad is going to happen.

Please?

Because if I don’t start doing this, I’m just going to get fatter. And if you don’t encourage me to go that’s going to be on you. I know it might not sound like it, but this is surprisingly sound logic. Trust me. My multiple chins will be your fault and you will therefore not be allowed to ignore me or protest or even subtly roll your eyes when I complain about it. You won’t even be in the right to point out that I should just go to the gym, because you didn’t encourage me.

I’m only, like, 60% joking.